episode 7

Intro??


(truck sounds)

DD: Stay sharp men, we are entering the city.

CT: Righto

FB: I cant wait, its been a while since Ive visited.

CT: Is that what you call it?

JD: So where exactly are we going captain?

DD: The Golden Jackal, it’s a cabaret, and a famous one.

JD: Whats a cabaret?

CT: Its like a sort of bar and theatre put together Johnny.

FB: Meh, its not that great. Just some fancy ladies singing and overpriced drinks.

CT: Ah yes, the classy Flex Brawnman strikes again.

DD: Im going to park a block or two away. Dirty trucks don’t usually just stop in front of high end establisments.

(truck stops, doors, street sounds)

DD: Ok lets go. Its down this street and around the corner.

CT: You know Daedalus, ive got to say. Your plan seems to be working right well.

DD: Ill wait to breathe easy til we are back at the Pegasus and out of turkey personally Coyne. By the way, did you make any progress on the ruby cipher?

CT: I did indeed. The treasure is in (somewhere). But I don’t know anything more, and that’s obviously a big area. Rather strange. Professor Voorderbloom said that the ring was the key, but I found that key in Nicaragua, its not even arab or Egyptian. So least I can figure, theres some sort of inscription or key to the ring too. I haven’t had any luck with that though.

D: well good work. Ask merriweather to help, he can maybe do some tests to see if theres more to that ring than meets the eye. Alright heres the Jackal.
Men, you know the drill. Keep your eyes peeled, don’t start any trouble, and flex, wait wheres flex?

CT: Tits and turks in Bleedin ‘ell. Did he take off?

JD: He was here a moment ago. Talking a real pretty lady on that street corner. She seemed real nice.

CT: You’ve got to be kidding me! We’ve been in Istanbul for fifteen minutes and Flex is already getting his d-

D: Dammit we don’t have time for this kind of thing! No use searching for him, we couldn’t find him even if we wanted too. Anything involving Flex in this town is bound to blow up sooner or later so lets get going. We need to find Carmen and get back to the zeppelin as soon as possible. Flex or no flex.

JD: Wait was she not a nice lady?

CT: She was too nice Johnny, always watch out for the nice ones.

D: Something Ill ask you to remember for the rest of the mission Coyne.

CT: Right. Got it.

JD: Ah here we are! The Golden Jackal.

(door opens)
(singing starts)

DD: Table for Four

Hostess: Ok Gentleman, come this way. (pause) Here is your table.

CT: Well the place hasn’t changed much over the years.

LS: Hey hey looky here! Its my zepplineer friends!

DD: Slade! What are you doing here??

LS: Just got back from Switzerland, hot on the trail of the black falcon. That guy sure is a smooth operator. Found out some interesting stuff in zurich tho.

JD: This sure is swanky looking place Coyne

CT: It is rather.

LS: That’s not the half of it Johnny! The Jackal is a well known establishment, its headlined some pretty famous performers.

CT: Yes, I’m sure you’ve witnessed some “stirring” performances over the years.

LS: Truer words never spoken Mr. Tarkington. Cabaret’s are a great place to pick up new leads.

CT: Im sure flex would agree

LS: Eh? Whats that?

CT: Nevermind

JD: Who’s that lady singing?

CT: That Johnny, is the woman of Drake Daedelus’s dreams,

JD: Oh wow! I’ve never had any dreams about girls before. I usually just dream about pirates and that time my parents died.

DD: Well slade, what did you

(singing stops)
Carmen: Excuse me boys, (cat calling) Excuse me boys, an old friend just walked in. I’ve got a bit of business to attend to (or other excuse)

(heels on marble floor)

JD: Oh no! she’s coming this way!

CT: Bloody hell here we go
(more heels)

Carmen: Why, my daring Captain Daedelus, it is quite brave of you to show your face here.

DD: Hello Carmen.

CD: To what do I owe this unexpected…pleasure

DD: Im not even sure where to start

LS: Lordy Daedalus! You didn’t tell me you knew this dame! Carmen Dehaviland! It’s a..a delight, an absolute delight to meet you!

DD: Ah yes, Carmen. This is lionel slade.

LS: Investigatory reporter for the Daily Sensation.

CD: Cavorting with reporters now are we drake? Tsk tsk youre a treat. Are you gonna keep staring coyne? I haven’t changed that much have i?

CT: Oh um, ello Carmen old girl! No no not a bit! As lovely as ever

JD: Ill say…

CD: Ha ha ha and who is this little fella? You have a woman I don’t know about drake?

CT: He wishes he, or um no of course not.
JD: Im Johnny Dangerfist! Boy Adventurer!

DD: And no, hes not mine Carmen.

CD: Suit yourself

LS: I still cant believe it, Carmen Dehaviland!

CD: Well mr slade, since youre so excited, why don’t you round us up a bottle of champagne?

LS: I would be delighted!

JD: Bring me some ovaltine please!

LS: You got it kid.

CD: So what are you doing in town drake? Must be something big if you brought snarky the brit here with you.

CT: unbelievable

DD: it just so happens that I wanted to see you.

CD: Sure you did, you always do.

DD: And I need your help.

CD: haha, as I said, you always do.

DD: I need to get my zeppelin into Germany. As you probably know Im in a race against baron von schmeck.

CD: you don’t think I follow your little games on the wireless any more do you? You always were so dashing, but you couldn’t sit and stay with me for more than a day or two. Gets tiresome after a while.

CT: You mean to tell me you haven’t a clue about the race going on?

CD: Don’t be fresh coyne. Of course I do. But you cant possibly expect me to want to help?

DD: Actually, I do. I need documents, maybe some uniforms, we have to get to munich. Johnny’s little brother was kidnapped and I intend to rescue him.

CD: Well well well, looks like drake daedalus still has the magic touch for getting into trouble. When did you get to Istanbul by the way? Did you come on the ferry from Greece?

CT: hahahaha Carmen id expect you to know drake better than that. You know hell never take a boat when he can fly. Although to be honest I thought he was crazy.

CD: Drake! You didn’t! You didn’t fly Pegasus into turkey did you??? You could have been killed!

LS: Heres that champagne.


CD: Just in time, fill me up mr slade.

LS: What a dame! I aint never seen someone down a glass like that.

CD: Thanks, give me another will ya?

JD: Did you get my ovaltine mr slade?

LS: sure thing kid, here you go, nice and cold!

DD: we don’t have much time Carmen. Can you help us or not?

CD: Well what do I get out of this?

DD: How bout I make up for never giving you that ring?

CT: Now just wait a minute skip

CD: You cant be serious drake. Don’t think it’s a tad late for that sort of thing?

DD: its got a ruby almost as big a johnny’s fist

CT: No no no! capn I haven’t done with it! You know it’s the key!

CD:

(I don't know where you're going here so i'm just going to interupt, but you could write more here if you wanted)

(sounds of a scuffle)

Hostess: But sir! We don't seat anyone without a reservation

Flex: Shut up! Get your damn hands off me! (rough growl) We gotta get going boys!

Johnny: Whats the hurry Mr. Brawnman?

Flex: No time to explain! Damn prostitues!

Coyne: Flex, please tell me you didn't actually....

Flex: Your damn right I did Coyne! Madam Habibi had it coming! Now grab your crap, we got a train to catch.

CD: Ah, Mr. Brawnman, I see your still up to your old...schenanegans?

Flex: Daedelus, you still got business with this Damn Devil Woman?

DD: Yes, Carmen (stress the name in contrast to woman) has documentation that will help us get into German

CD: I assure you Mr. Brawnman if you would allow me an hour I could create the necessary paperwork right here.

(assorted shouts outside from Turkish guards)

TG1: He went this way!
TG2: He won't get away this time
TG1: In here!

FB: THERE'S NO TIME

(woman yell of suprise)

CD: Put, me, down Mr. Brawnman!

DD: Flex Brawnman! Put down that woman!

JD: Mr. Brawnman!

FB: Now Johnny, this aint no way to treat a Dame, but desperate times call for...um...desperate something or other

CT: Eloquently put Flex.

JD: OK, I think I get it.

FB: Now lets go!

DD: Hey's got a point men, I suppose the damage has been done, lets got a move on! But Flex,

FB: Yes Captain?

DD: Do be careful with her

FB: Do my best sir.

FB: Now quick! Into the alley!

(sound of door being kicked down, imagine risky business slide into alley)
(running sounds)
(panting)
(dogs barking)
(police sirens)

CT: If we can make it through the plaza we should be get to the train depot undetected!

CD: (bouncing as if being carried) They'll barricade the plaza! We'll never make it through!

FB: Nonsense woman! That didn't stop the Crusades!

(dogs barking)
TG3: Stop! You are under arrest!

JD: Outta my way!
(gunshot)
TG3: Owwww, my leg!

CT: Nice shot Johnny! Looks like your finally getting some use outta that revolver of yours!

JD: I just (pant pant) hope I (pant pant) didn't hurt him too bad

FB: Nonsense! Damn Chinamen had it coming!

DD: Watch out for the horses!

(horses rearing and neighing)

(gunshots and bullet whizzes)

(horses galloping on cobble stone)

CT: The cavalry are coming!

(more neighing)

TG1: I order you to stop on the authority of the royal Turkish Janisaries! You are under arrest for trespassing and -

FB: I know the charges!

(gun shots!)

TG2: And you Mr. Slade, you will come with me!

LS: What an exciting turn of events! I suppose I'll get to finish my expose on turkish prisons after all!

JD: Oh no! The cavalry have Mr. Slade in handcuffs!

CT: Well tits and torture! feel sorry for the old bloke but they're nothing we can do about it now!

(possibly swords clanging)

DD: Quick through the public baths!

JD: Whooo, I think we lost them.

CD: You can put me down now Mr. Brawnman.

FB: Ooops, sorry, completely forgot about that. Train depot should be right ahead.

(train crossing noises)

TG1: They're they are! After them!

JD: Well which train are going to catch Flex?

FB: We're headed due north. (pant pant) This blue one's leaving, hurry!

(train accelerating)

FB: Up you go

CD: ow!

DD: Hop on Johnny!

JD: I can't the train is going to fast!

(horse galloping sounds)

LS: Well I say Johnny! It looks like your in quite a pickle! Why don't you grab my hand!

JD: Thanks Mr. Slade ! (breathing hard) Wow, what an adventure!

(zepplein sounds)

BM (loud speaker) : Greetings gentlemen!

DD: Barnaby! However did you find us?

BM (loudspeaker): I used the RABPUSS to trace the trackopen I gave Johnny, quite ingenious if I do say so myself!

DD: Well lower the rope ladder and let us up already Alexis!

Alexis: Ay ay captain!

(Change of scene)

CT: Well it sure is nice to be back out of dangers way.

DD: No time to relax coyne, Jeffries! Set course for Munich!

J: Ay Ay Captain!

JD: One more thing Mr. Brawnman, why were the guards chasing you all this way?

FB: Well Johnny, women can make men do all sorts of funny things.

JD: Well, Mr. Tarkington, you didn't answer my question

FB: kid, I'll tell you when you're older.

Next time on Johnny Dangerfist

Heavy German: Passport!

(bad attempts at german all around)

Time for bed. Ugh.