Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Honolulu Typhoon (Final Version)

The Honolulu Typhoon

JD: Last time on Johnny Dangerfist: Play clip


The impressive around-the-world race took Pegasus west over the Pacific and the two zeppelins quickly lost one another in the dark of night over the ocean. Daedalus and his crew had flown over this stretch of water before and they settled into a calm. Pegasus was an older zeppelin but had been carefully maintained and upgraded by the engineer Jeffries. In the meantime, the initial excitement of the race and San Francisco had worn off and it was replaced by the monotony of trans-ocean travel. Johnny and Lefty struggled to find entertainment and wandered down to the propulsion plant to look for diversion. It was a strange world inhabited by a strange man who seemed really to like his engines

JD: Well Lefty, I’m getting pretty bored again. What should we do?

Lefty: We could go find Mr. Tarkington and ask him to tell us another story. He has lots of stories.

JD: He does have lots of stories, but I think he’s sleeping Lefty…..I know!! Lets go visit Mr. Jeffries in the engine room! Ive never been down there.

Lefty: It seems dangerous Johnny, isn’t it dark and scary?

JD: Just don’t touch anything Lefty, you know why.

L: I know, I know, I’m left-handed.

(Steps, machinery noises, reactor noise getting louder, wrench sound, door opens everything louder)

JD: Hello Jeffries!

J: Ello boys! What brings you down here?

JD + Lefty: We’re bored.

J: Well you’ come to the raight plaice! Just stan in that corner there and don’t touch ANYTHIN!

JD: Umm ok.

(clanking noise)

Lefty: What does this do Jeffries?

J: That’s a wrench Lefty, put it down.

Lefty: What about this?

J: Thats the steam valve! Be careful!! Its hot!

JD: Is this a gun??

J: No that’s weldin’ torch. Put it down!!! Damnit lads, you don’t see me comin round to your rooms and touchin everything do ya?? “whats this? Whats this? What does this do? What ‘oes this do?”

Lefty: Wait, wait, Jeffries. What DOES this do? Is this a reactor??

J: Haggis and scotch boy, that’s a coffee maker!!

Lefty: And what does it do?

J: It. Makes. Coffee.

L: Oh, well why didn’t you say that?

J: Lads I think its time you go.

JD: Cmon Lefty, I guess we better go. I told you not to touch anything.

L: Oh gee Johnny, I was just curious.

JD: Yea, well remember what happened last time you were curious? at the museum?

L: (sigh) yeesss.

(Steps, door, engine room receeding)

Narrator: The Pegasus sped through the night. But as the zeppelin neared Hawaii a north Pacific storm had engulfed our heroes. The crew were shaken from their relaxation and ran to man their stations. Daedalus had seen many a storm in his day, but this was one of the worst. Johnny and Lefty ran to the bridge.

(Running, door slams, chatter on the bridge and stormy)

D: Maintain your heading there! We don’t want to miss the islands!!

MSC: Captain! Weve got several tears along the starboard side!! She’s taking a beating!

D: Understood. (over intercom) Jeffries, I need you on the bridge.

J: Aye aye capn!

(Major crash, sounds of equipment falling, Lefty shouts)

J: ello Captain. Bit of a tickle eh?

Tarkington: You could say that, it’s a real pacific tit teaser!!

D: Steady boys, gusts from the north. Stay on course!!

JD: Is the Pegasus going to make it?

J: She may be old, but she’s sassy!

T: Oh lord Jeffries. Must you?

J: You know it as much as anyone Tarkington.

D: Jeffries, I need every bit of juice we can get out of her! We gotta make Honolulu before this typhoon shreds us!

J: I think the old girl has a bit more milk for us!

T: Good god man!

D: Coyne! Go have a look at the aft damage.

T: You got it Skipper.

JD: Captain what can I do?

D: Well you can go get Lefty out from behind that fallen radio for starters.

JD: Oh no! Lefty!

L: Im ok Johnny. Just move it so I can get out.

(Intercom Jeffries: Capn, jeffries here. I think I got us a few more knots!)

(Int D: Thank you jeffries.)

D: Ill take the helm now.

MSC: aye aye captain.

D: Where’s Brawnman?
JD: I think he’s sleeping in the aft storage hub Captain!

D: Lefty! Go get Flex and bring him back up here!

L: Really??!!?? Aye aye captain!

D: Yes, now hurry up before I change my mind!

Wireless: This is Honolulu Zeppelin Port calling inbound zeppelin, identify yourself please. over

D: (w) Hello Honolulu, this is Drake Daedalus with Pegasus. Request emergency approach clearance. over

Wireless: Roger that, you are cleared. You better get that crate of yours on the deck, this typhoon is only getting worse! over

D: (w) Yes, thank you Honolulu. over (off air) Ya think? What does this look like? A summer drizzle?

JD: It looks like a typhoon to me captain!


Tarkington (over intercom): Uhhh Skipper, Coyne here. I think we just lost the aft storage hub.

D (int): Damnit Coyne! Were Flex and Lefty in there?

T: Umm rather, yes.

D: Where theres the zeppelin port im gonna get Pegasus down on the deck.

(Crash landing sound, rain calm)

Daedelus: Whats the damage Jeffries?

Jeffires: Well Cap’n, our starboard fusion moderator is done for. As for the storage hub, it should float, for a couple of hours at least. But we won't be able to take off and look for it until we find a moderator. Not going to be easy either, you don’t find class 5 moderators just lyin around.

Tarkington: Well chaps, best I figure we're straight up sticky tits, sideways one of you can buggle a class five moderator north of yur arse. As for Brawnman, bloody ell if I thought he’d go out drowning.

DD: I wouldn't count Brawnman out, I've seen that man fight his way out of a turkish whorehouse and through have a regiment of janissaries. If I was a gambling man I'd bet the tide is already turning in favor of old Flex. Tarkington, you wouldn't happen to have kept in contact with any of your old mates from the Mahalo excavation would you?

Tarkington: Be honest I ahven't been back 'eya since wee lad. Nobody but the bloody natives really care for the old stuff anymore, and you'd be better off not buggering around with them. Most of the proper dirt dusters right packed up after Kilaeua lost 'er temper aynway. Last I heard that my old Aussie mate Wally McBruce was running a smuggling operation on the north bit of Maui. He might be able to help us out. Wouldn't mind catching up with the old bugger actually.

Jeffries: McBruce? You've gotta be kidding me, i would trust that damn smuggler less than one of Flex's turkish whores.

CT: He's not like that Jeffries, Ol' Bruccies's saved my ass more times'n I can figure. Why back when I was still smuggling...

Daedelus: Its not like we've got a lot of options Jeffries. If you'd prefer you could stay and do what repair work you can. We better get one of the biplanes an' at least pay this Wally character a visit.

CT: 'Ats the spirit skipper! C'mon Johnny, we're going to go see one of my old scumbag friends!

Johnny: Oh boy!

D: (Int) Winters, daedalus here. Can you get number 1 ready to go?

W: (int) roger that captain, its already fueled, ill just start the engine for ya

D: (int) thanks. (to others) alright lets get to the hanger bay

(Scene cut to the storage hub, which is slowly filling with water.)

RB: Keep scooping boy! She's taking one hellova drink fer a lady her size.

Lefty: I'm tired, and my shoes are getting wet. What if pirates attack us?

FB: There are no pirates around here boy, only smugglers. Not that there much better. Either way a whole lot more of you's gonna be wet. Now start putting some muscle into that bucket 'a yours.

Lefty: But i'm soooo tired

FB: You keep scooping or I'll box your ears.

Lefty: (scared) right


Intermission music (monty python?)
Naration: "And the plot thickens! Thickens like rich chocolate Ovaltine! Ovaltine! Fortified with vitamins and minerals for the growing boy adventurer! Rich chocolate Ovaltine! Official sponsor of Johnny Dangerfist boy adventurer. And now back to our show!

(biplane landing, getting out etc)

CT: Why this place hasn't changed one bit! It looks just like it did when I was a kid.

WM: (heavy australian accent) Coyne Tarkington. You got some nerve showing your face here you little rippa, what afta letting me take the heat fa' that right spectacle you pulled in Nicaragua.

CT: Righto well that’s water under the bridge eh? No harm done.

WM: Uh huh, no harm done. Just two years in a Nicaraguan prison. I've 'alf a mind to kill you and take back the bloody ring. Those smugglers still show up from time to time tryin' a buy your 'ed

CT: An' what do you tell em?

WM: I told em that i'd give it to 'em if I thought they'd find anything interestin' inside of it. (both men laugh) Coyne, you're a tough bloke ta stay buggahd with. Lets go inside and drown ourselves in cheap navy rum.

***heavy door slams roudy bootlegger sounds***

DD: Johnny, you stay here, the grownups have some business we have to take care of out back.

Bartender: What'll it be boy?

JD: Rich Chocolate Ovaltine please!

Bartender: Steaming hot or ice cold? Ovaltine is great either way!

JD: I take my Rich Chocolate Ovaltine ice cold!

***sound of glass hitting the counter)

Smuggler Captain: Ahoy there boy! Whatya be drinken?

JD: Uhh ovaltine?

SC: A drink fit for any adventurer! (slam on table) What be your business here in the islands?

JD: Umm engine parts? What about you?

SC: Me an me crew are just here looking for a bit of swashbuckling revenge.

JD: Oh wow are you a smuggler?

SC: Aye, laddie and you better watch yourself (laughs and go away)

Flashcut to back to sinking compartment

FB: Well lefty, its starting to look like we're going to have to swim for it.

Lefty: Oh no! I cant swim!

***Engine sounds***

FB: Hey indigenous fishermen! Looks like you might not have to swim afterall

Lefty: Oh my shoes! Were saved!


WM: Lets cut down to brass tax eh Coyne, what brought you back?

CT: Be honest, we've found ourself in straight up Barney. Brawnman’s lost out at sea and our airship is right sixes without a new class five moderator.

WM: Class five's a rare breed these days, but it just so happens I might be able to help.

D: That’s the first good thing ive heard all day.
CT: I guess I owe you one Brucy. Lets grab Johnny and go.

WM: Ill meet you outside at my Rover. Its parked out back. I need to say goodbye to somebody at the bar.

(door closes/steps)

D: you sure you trust this guy Coyne?

T: From here to China Daedalus.

(door opens)

WM: Alright mates lets get your class 5. My warehouse is down by the wharf.

(engine starts drive off)

***Metal thudding to ground

WM: Heres your bloody moderator.

CT: McBruce, I really can't thank you enough.

WM: Well, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions mate.
***gun sounds, in my head I hear shotguns getting cocked***

Smuggler: Aye, Mr. Tarkington, its been quite a while.

CT: damn your eyes! You sold me to the smugglers Brucy? What was the price?

WM: This doesn't have to end like this, Coyne, just give me the ring.

CT: Well it just so happens I don’t have it on me.

WM: Don’t even try it Coyne, I know you carry it everywhere with you.

CT: Alright you can have the bloody ring, but we're going to take the class 5.

WM: Ok, but you have to pay off the smugglers too.

JD (whispering) You’re really going to give him your ring Mr. Tarkington?

CT (whispering): You see Johnny, sometimes its ok to lie. As long as the man you're lying to is an Australian.

WM: Well lets get on with it!

(sound of boat pulling up to wharf – jumping out)

Smugglers: Oh no! Indigenous fisherman!

FB: Well looky here Lefty, looks like we found some smugglers after all!

JD: Lefty! Youre safe!

L: Johnny!

D: See Coyne? I didn’t think Flex could drown, not when theres a fight brewing and Turkish whores still to be had.

CT: Alright McBruce, the game is up. we’ll be taking the class 5 and being on our way, and no funny business!

WM: Not so fast Coyne! Let’s get em mates!

FB: That’s a bad idea smuggler scum!

(chorus of shouts and gunshots)

D: Everyone ok?

JD: Lefty and me are!

CT: Just a scratch here, wheres Brawnman?

FB (shouting getting louder e.g. closer): That’s right cowards!! You better run! Next time all bash all your heads in!

D: You ok Flex?

FB: Me? Course im ok! Who do you think I am Daedalus?? I just had to chase one of those bastards down, tried to shoot me if you can believe it.

JD: Did you get him?

FB: Course I did boy! He wont be shooting anyone any time soon.

CT: Looks like McBruce got away. I 'ave a feeling this isn't the last time we'll have to deal with that conniving Aussie.

D: Alright, lets get the damn class 5 and get the hell back to the Pegasus. That’s more than enough adventure for one day.

JD: Hiho Jeffries! We've got you your part!

J: Alright, I'll have this old girl up in the air in no time!

***engines start***

CT: You know Daedelus, these small fry smugglers today got me thinking, I've heard there's a nasty little band of sky pirates brewing quite a kettle of trouble over the South China Sea and we'll need to be ready if that kettle starts to whistle.

Lefty: Oh no sky Pirates! The worst kind!

FB: Bring 'em on! I've tasted blood today an' I'm hungry for more.

CT: I suppose we could probably pay Meriwhether a visit? He always was the best in the world at making weapons and such. I hear the emperor's got the old chap's knickers nailed down pretty tight. But no harm in trying I guess.

D: A capital idea Coyne. I think its about time we outfitted the pegasus with some armaments, Jeffries! Set course for Kyoto Japan!

J: Aye Aye Captain!

JD: Next time on Johnny Dangerfist!

Warning sirens

D: All hands man your battle-stations! Prepare for dirigibattle!

J: Who's attacking captain?

D: Its brazilian sky pirates Johnny! The scourge of the skies!

FB: Haha! This is going to be a great day!


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